The One Where I Get a Job

Last Thursday was a day of firsts for my mother and me. The first time we got lost on an express way, the first time we drove, by ourselves, here in Texas, alone and the first time being in an editor’s office who held, in her hands, a piece of my writing.

“Joe this writing is really good,” she said, “Just what we’re looking for.”

“Thank you.”

“And its great that your have a mother so supportive.”

“Yep that’s my Ma, my momager in other words,” I say.

Let me back track a few days. Sunday morning I found myself looking up jobs. I vowed to not work for a few days (the three days a week at Macy’s back in Florida just killed me) but my mother was basically saying, “Too bad” though she added more words to it.

I already worked at a fast food place – Burger King, which was as disgusting as it looked. I had three different managers that never seemed to shower and one just farted the whole three hours she was there. It was a place for ex-convicts as well. Now I wanna see you eat there.

I did a grocery store, which was just as horrible as BK, but I worked more hours and cleaned the bathrooms.  And finally I worked at Macy’s. Don’t get me wrong I loved Macy’s, I loved the people, the managers and the work, in all actuality. It was just… the customers were so damn pissy. It didn’t help that most of them were pushing eighty.

I vowed that once we got here, in Texas, I wanted to do something different. No fast food. No grocery store. No retail. I wanted something in writing which, actually, wasn’t hard to find.

The job description screamed, WRITERS AND REPORTERS NEEDED ASAP. So I thought to myself, I thought, “Self you’re one of these things. Go head. Apply. What’s the worst that can happen?” And with that self-mantra rolling around in my head I applied.

And waited.

Waited.

Waited just a few days more.

Wednesday morning my email didn’t work. I believe, in my whole tiny heart, that I got a virus or some shit, some applying to this job. It was real sketchy and everything… three writing samples, a resume and a photo sent to the email provided. I wasn’t sure if I was applying for a job or a dating website.

Side Story- they have a Single Gay Man Anonymous group that meets every month. Can someone tell me the point of that?

“Hey I really like your… cloth. Is that taffeta?”

“Silk actually.”

So I had to change my password BUT I forgot the answers to the security questions and then I got locked out of trying and then I had to call them and it was a complete goddamn mess.

I eventually got it after waiting on the phone with Mr. AOL for twenty-five minutes.

Turns out it wasn’t the paper I was applying to but a problem with hackers.

So anyway, I’m hitting the word limit, I got the job at WeFamus magazine as a Creative Reporter! I head to events, interview some people and write up an article that gets edited by my editor who then sends it over to the publisher who just so happens to be her husband.

I guess Texas is looking just a little bit better.