Deep in the Heart of Texas: Part Deux

Sometimes in order to go forward we have to go back. So, if you would, dear reader, come take a trip down memory lane with me. I swear I’ll have you bake within the hour.

About a year and a half ago I rented an apartment in Orlando. It was a two bedroom, well it was actually called a Loft apartment so it had one bedroom with another some kind of bedroom at the top of the stairs, one bathroom apartment that cost me and my roommate eight hundred and sixty three dollars every month, including water.  I was a three-minute drive away from school. A five-minute drive from Target and Starbucks and a twenty-minute drive from the nearest Walmart and Books A Million.

I was thinking about this while on the road. We had just entered Louisiana. Alabama and Georgia were, by far, the shortest parts of the drive, about an hour each, and by that time my ass was on fire. I haven’t discussed the car I was in. okay so I was in a Volkswagen Beetle, a Bug to my mother, which, if you’ve ever seen one, is tiny. I’m a 5’11, 200 pound guy sitting in the back of a tiny, cramped car, with my dog, a pug, who pants and vomited on my leg. Yeah. It wasn’t fun.

It was in Louisiana when I thought about my old apartment. When I once again realized that I would be living under the rule of the “man.” We would have to pay rent. We would have to obey to their rules. We would have to curb our dog and use a dog park. My dog isn’t even a dog she has no idea what a park is let alone what a park does. She doesn’t even know how to fetch. Pampered bitch.

We had about two hours left on the road trip. An hour in Louisiana and an hour from Houston to where we are now, Katy. Here’s a fun fact- I didn’t want to name my new blog The Homo Whisperer takes Katy cause that sounds a little too rapey. So I named it… you know.

As Katy loomed in front of me I couldn’t help but wonder, “If we’re moving to Texas” has the same emotional impact as “Can we talk?”

I wondered, “Are we doing the right thing?”

We pulled into the apartment place at ten with a crowd of my sisters friend’s waiting and cheering us on as if we were the new goddamn Kings and Queens of Texas. We moved everything off the moving truck and shoved them into the living room. And that was that.

The move was over. We moved everything in. We- my Mother and I- laid mattress’s on the floor and we slept.

And we slept until eleven the next morning.